A Mission That Changed My Life

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12/12/08 - 19/12/08

A mission trip that is so different from those i went before.. Past few missions was about me going to pray for people, share, lead worship, do ministry and minister to people. But for this, all I do was to be a helper and just to do some practical stuff like teach guitar, simple games and drama. Due to our poor chinese, we can't really preach (shared for 10 mins) in chinese or even pray for them (except to say grace). Only thing we can do is to teach practical stuff.

And to move around was rather troublesome... as we can walk in a big group but in pairs or in small groups so that we won't become an attention as many many PSB plain clothes police may be roaming around. We can't let the Church member knows that we are foreigners, we can't speak english at all... Basically full of restriction due to security reason as our friends there are being closing watched by all this secret police.

At first when I was there, I felt abit handicapp and useless.. most of the things were done by Joanne. But God spoke to me to observe and hear His heart and just do whatever I am told to do (I know God is teaching me meekness and humility... to be led by others and me not leading.) So I just basically wait for instructions and try my best to teach and communicate with them. Seriously it is tough! I was rather discouraged..

But at the end of the training, what was impacting was when I see people who are more senior, who have been through life, persecution coming to us and thank us with tears in their eyes..telling us how much we have been a help and support to them (despite of our language barrier). Just by being there, they felt affirmed and supported.. In my heart I was like what have we done? All these are simple and common games we all play back in Singapore, what is so big deal about it. But to them it is a whole lot big deal. They tried their best to absorb whatever they can and really use it to expand God's Kingdom. Hahaha.. Even by thinking of the way they appreciate this little things now move my heart. Really I felt ashamed and also humbled by them.. People travel all the way from other villages to come and learn things like this without any complain and hearts was filled with gradtitude.. yet time again we complain about everything we can complain... Hahaha

On the last day, at the train station.. it was an emotional moment.. I'll never thought that I will cry.. LOL well.. I was crying not because I am emo or what.. but just that sense of unsatisfaction that there is so much we could have done but because of our language, we are limited. One of the youth (18 years old guy) just sat there beside me.. somehow look like he was stoning. Then Joanne and I turn and asked him whether he is alright. Then he replied..."Ni men yao zhou le (you guys are leaving already..) and he started crying.. And suddenly God just drop a bomb on me.. and i begin to feel His heart for that young man and slowly to the people around me in that place.. suddenly my eyes just filled with tears and i started crying while putting my hand over Ah Zhi's shoulder... feeling so helpless yet overwhelmed but God's heart felling His love for them.. It was rather quiet.. but yet we can feel that sense of gradtitude and bond of love in that place..

Boarding the train was the climax.. LOL.. Everyone of us cried and they were standing at the platform doing all the actions of those games we thought them.. to show that they will always remember all that we have thought them and use it for God's Kingdom. It just left me speechless and broken down.. that so ruined me.. Their love for one another, passion for the Kingdom, hunger for the things of God and their love for Jesus shows it even without words.. We may have the resources and knowledge, but we are so in lack of what they have.. God give me what they have..

I came back with a determination in my heart, which is
1) To love people without any reservation.
2) Don't want to take things for granted and be complacent or comfortable despite of all that we have.
3) To be appreciative and grateful for the little things people do for me..
4) To draw nearer to God to love Him and feel His heart for people..

Well.. I think by far this is the most impacting trip i have ever been in my life.. I thank God He gave me time to observe and learn from my friends in China.. that leave a mark in my life..

Thank you Jesus.... Thank you my friends from China.. I will keep you guys in prayer and I will be back there to pray with you guys in chinese and preach in chinese.. I mean it..


Determined,
Jason Chua